thirteenpixels

So I’m sitting in a hotel in Wexham, UK realizing that I honestly never need to leave Longwood again. I’m a simple guy, I like what I like and I don’t require much change to maintain happiness. Here are the top reasons why I’m not having a fantastic time on this trip so far.

• The dollar is worthless, I’m sick of everything costing twice as much. It shouldn’t cost $20 to go 5 miles in a taxi. Also, sometimes you can use Euros and sometimes you need Pounds, what the fuck ever. How about we just go back to trading livestock at least a sheep is a sheep.
• Hotels don’t have vending machines, strike that one did but it was for cigarettes. When is the last time you saw one of those. Speaking of smoking a taxi driver was smoking in the taxi…
• You have to dial too many fucking numbers to make a phone call. I mean really, it’s like remembering credit card numbers.
• The power situation is completely fucked up. There are Euro plugs, UK plugs, different voltages for each. It’s so dumb. That has been the biggest headache so far. Just ask Douglas as he blew up a computer today.
•  TV. I mean really, why bother having it. It’s like 4 channels and one of those channels seems to show Snooker 24/7. The other shows are counterparts of shows we have just with people you’ver never heard of.
• Since we’ve been staying in the boonies we’ve been at the mercy of the hotel for food and it’s all been pretty mediocre. I’d definitely kill your mother for a taco and mountain dew. If you order water you have to specify “still” or “sparkling” GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK JUST TURN ON A FAUCET AND FILL SOME SHIT UP.
• Light switches are on the outside of rooms, and also reversed so down is on.

There are probably more that I’m forgetting but I’m tired of typing and my caesar salad which I had to order without egg and fish on it is on it’s way and I’m missing Snooker I’m sure so I’ll stop here. I’m sure there will be plenty of crap in France I hate so I’ll have more later.

The one thing that I can say is that people are friendlier, which if you know me at all you know that is actually worse because I have strangers trying to have conversations with me.

I’m just looking forward to coming home and hanging out with my family. My awesome wife just bought us tickets to a real sporting event, not this soccer shit. GOD BLESS THE USA.